A Journey of Healing and Health

This blog is all about personal healing, and regaining my health. It focuses primarily on the physical, but also includes spiritual, mental, and emotional issues. True healing encompasses all four of these areas. If you are a new follower, please start at the beginning, which you'll find out is really a prologue, and continue in the sequence of days. I hope you will leave comments. And feel welcome to share this blog with others. This is a work in progress, unfolding day by day. Thank you for reading and sharing this 100-Day Journey! Except where noted, all material in this blog is copyright 2011 Words to Words -- The Word Stewards.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Day 5 - I Want You To Live

I was alone now, in a house much too big for just me. My husband dead, my son off to college.

And I was desperate for healing! Crying out to God for the pain to go away -- and if it wouldn't, then for Him to make some good of my tears, somehow, to use them to ease another's pain, or sweeten another's soul.

I have a prayer exercise I like to use, called the "I Know You Know" prayer. It puts things into perspective, connecting my tiny little mind to God's much larger intentions, by turning even my prayer requests over to His will.

"Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." -- The Lord's Prayer

The exercise goes something like this: "I know, God, that You know my pain. I know that you know why You did this. I know You know what my future holds."

We know that in all things God works for good with those who love Him, those whom he has called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

It was a June morning, three months into the wilderness, as I turned to the Lord with my "I Know You Know" litany, lifting up the crushed hopes and the sorrows, the despair and desperation. As I prayed, "I know You know," the words followed -- "I want you to live!" These words were not my own, but were planted deep within me, in an intimate answer to my prayer.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give  you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29"11

This whisper from my heavenly Father, slipped into my own prayers to Him, made me gasp with the realization that HE REALLY LOVES ME! In all this darkness, He has shown a light. A hope. A promise. A secure stepping stone to stand upon within the chaos around me.

And so I held on to that declaration, so simple yet so deep, and began setting goals to LIVE again. I didn't know what all that would entail, but I started opening myself up to the lessons to be learned, the process of preparation for what was to come at the end of the wilderness, an end I could not yet see, but which I knew God had shaped the boundaries of.

"Lord, prepare me for what You are preparing for me!" -- Corrie Ten Boom
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