Day 26 - Sleepy Sunday

" 'There are six days when you may work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work; wherever you live, it is a Sabbath to the LORD. Leviticus 33: 3

Sunday, April 3, 2011

IT WAS SUNDAY -- I WAS READY TO REST!

But I had to do a few things, first, such as go to church and then have lunch out with family before my son and daughter-in-law went back home. So I ate a quick leftovers breakfast before church, and when at the restaurant, I ordered a ham steak and a side salad. My son donated a slice of crisp bacon to add to my salad, which I further enhanced with chopping up the ham into bite-size pieces.

When we got back home, the stress and strain of the past week took its toll, and I settled in for a long afternoon nap. That was basically my day -- intermittent naps, a bit of TV and reading, more naps, finally rousing for a dinner of steak with grilled onions and broccoli. I was in bed by 10 p.m.

So I devoted today, my "sleepy Sunday," to resting my body, relaxing my mind. Extreme stress is hard on a person, not just mentally but physically. And physiologically. That's been part of my problem, living with anxiety for the past several years, mostly the previous four.

How is this stress affecting me? I will find out tomorrow, when Dr. Ford finally shares the results of the blood tests, and puts his finger on what's wrong with me.

Here I am, doing everything I can to allow this physical healing. I have a good spiritual grounding, and my mental condition has been restored from depression. So what have I missed?

It struck me last week, after I met with Jerry Myers, a life coach, that my emotional healing has been overlooked. Totally kept out of the equation. I was so focused on mind-body-spirit, that I missed the emotional aspect of my healing.

I know that I hold a lot of feelings inside. I swallow the pain, I choke back the anger, I stuff down the bad feelings, to the point I am even numb to the positive emotions -- joy and happiness. I don't mean that I'm totally unfeeling, but there is a shallowness, a depth that I don't dig into.

Do I know why? No. Does it matter if it began in childhood, adolescence or as an adult? Probably not. Do I need to figure out any particular trigger? I don't know the answer to that. But I do know that I need to release these emotions, and express them in a positive manner that is helpful, not hurtful. I need to address any fears I am repressing, and express any gifts or talents I am suppressing. And since I obviously don't do this very well on my own, I need to find a way to learn this skill.

This is some food for thought. I have only now been able to really process the emotional roller coaster ride that I found myself on, 10 days after the session with Jerry. I'll share more of that at a later date.

Right now I'll talk to God about it. I'll seek his guidance in the emotional realm. He knows me, and what he wants for me. He has it all in the palm of his hand. And he has a mighty big and powerful hand. And he is the ultimate healer, the wonderful counselor.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6