The LORD said to Moses, "Tell Aaron and his sons, 'This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: " ' "The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace." ' Numbers 6: 22-26
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
It was Wednesday. I had leftover salad and turkey breast for breakfast, before visiting Dr. Ford this morning.
I've run out of the circumen, but he said I no longer need it. However, I'm still experiencing mid-afternoon fatigue, and so next week will begin taking more supplements -- Vitamins D and B12.
I'm so glad that this is all being done with regular food and a few supplements. I'm so glad that I'm getting healthy in a healthful manner. I'm so glad that God is in charge of it all.
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6: 5
It's time to start exercising again. I cannot remember ever looking forward to exercise, but now it seems my body craves it. I've asked Dr. Ford before, how much and when, to help speed things up and do my part. But he had some interesting information about that, which I'll share later.
First, I need to digress, to look back on my most recent exercise experiences.
After my husband died suddenly four years ago, I knew I did not want to go the same route. I knew I did not want to leave our son without both parents, because of bad healthcare choices I had made. So I bought a year's membership to the local Y, hired a personal trainer, and joined a weight loss accountability group.
I learned what to eat and how much, I learned the rule of calories in must be less than calories out, meaning that I had to burn off more food than I ate, in order to lose weight. I learned how to exercise. How to move on a treadmill, how to lift weights, how to push and pull all the muscles on the various machines.
And then I was chosen to participate in the Y's Greatest Loser program. This was too good to be true! The winner would be awarded with a year's membership, and I would have intense training in physical fitness.
I loved it! I worked it! I found out I had a competitive spirit! I was determined to win!
AND I DID!
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. 1 Corinthians 8: 24-27
I, the exercise-hating woman who took ROTC in her teens to avoid gym glass, was the overall winner of the 2009 Greatest Loser competition in my city, beating out other women and men.
And at what cost?
I operated on 1500 carefully counted calories per day. That may sound like a lot, but one exercise session burned at least that much. And I was working out TWICE daily, devoted to a total of four hours each day, six days a week.
Cardio -- walking, running, biking, rowing, stair climbing, swimming and more. Weights -- free weights, bench weights. Abdominal routines. Sweating. Enduring. Pushing on. Beating out the competition. Beating my numbers from the week before. And beating myself up inside.
Yes, I lost weight. Yes, I increased muscle mass as I shed fat. Yes, I felt good, looked great, and was in better shape than I'd ever been before. Muscularly anyway. But the internal issues had never been addressed. The emotional barriers had never been breached. And I couldn't keep it up.
It took such an intense program that once the three months were up, once I had proven to the world and to myself that I could really do this, once I had won, I hit a wall. Hard.
I could not keep up the routine. I had fulfilled my three-month commitment, had met my goals, had reshaped my body, but what it took to get there and maintain it, was more than I could handle. I cut back to two-hour workouts three days a week. Just as hard, just as determined. And the weight slowly came back on.
Something was definitely wrong.
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