Day 37 - An Exercise in Futility

They are disheartened, troubled like the restless sea. Jeremiah 49: 23

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Here I was. After losing weight and winning the prize, I found myself quickly moving backward.

It was disheartening. I had done everything right. I had dieted and exercised. I had set goals, and followed through. I had exceeded my own expectations.

And I had given up.

The next couple years brought me back to the weight I was when I started the Greatest Loser program. I was still in better muscular health, and a smaller size, so not all was lost.

Unknowingly, though, God was preparing me for this new venture, this Journey of 100 Days. This healing.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." John 14: 1-4

I shut down on the exercise, rationalizing that my body would react better at a later date if it had this chance to become unaccustomed to the routine. I tried to eat properly, and continued to take my vast array of vitamins and minerals. Everything everyone had recommended along the way, I swallowed it all. I kept my fancy home exercise equipment, for when I would need it again.

And I got worse and worse.

The symptoms started to emerge. Things like internal shakiness. Brain fog. Gastrointestinal upsets. Depression. Just not feeling right.

I sensed something was seriously wrong.

Woe to me because of my injury! My wound is incurable! Yet I said to myself, "This is my sickness, and I must endure it." Jeremiah 10:19

What was especially frustrating was knowing in my heart of hearts that God had work for me to do, and in my current condition, I was crippled. My health was impaired, and my future was paralyzed.

I continued in this stagnant condition, holding my head up and ignoring the alarm bells, for two years. Until I heard about Dr. Ford. Until God spoke to my heart and said, "I will heal you. I will make you well."

I needed that. I needed God to complete what He had started. I had proven that I could not do it alone. But if He wanted me healed, if He wanted to provide that for me, who am I to deny my Lord?

So began my 100-Day Journey to health and healing. So began this blog.

Su