Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11: 28-30
My burdens were heavy. I was faced with debt, family situations, weight problems, and I finally admitted it -- depression. But as I turned them over to God, as I faced my fears, one by one, they lost their power over me. God was in control, if only I'd allow Him to be.
Day by day, week by week, the mountain began to move.
I opened myself to whatever I needed to learn, to not go backward again. And as my depression lifted, I realized that many long-lost skills which I once took for granted needed to be reclaimed, relearned, retuned, and I did so. Work came my way, tension eased, my mind cleared. I could breathe again.
I was coming back to life.
Happy are those who obey the Lord, who live by his commands. Your work will provide for your needs, you will be happy and prosperous. Psalm 128: 1-2
In October 2010, near the end of the fourth year, I awoke to these precious words, whispered into my soul by my precious Father: "Susan -- believe in yourself!"
Not only was I called by name, I was commanded back to life, a life not only dictated by blind obedience, but of regeneration, of trusting who I was becoming through this difficult, heart- and soul-rending process.
I had come far enough now that I could see the border of the wilderness, and had gained the perspective of hindsight. Looking backward at the valley, I saw the footpath that had been cleared for me -- not by me.
The dedication, patience and endurance I had suffered were now part of the discipline I needed to move forward the rest of the way. The challenges I had faced, the fears I had overcome, helped to shape my emerging identity. The pain and suffering, the tears and grief, were ending.
I had been transformed -- mentally and spiritually. Although the physical healing was not yet complete, I was becoming the woman God created me to be.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139: 13-16
Beautiful
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